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Everything posted by Bluto

  1. Bluto

    Bank Foreclosure Investigations

  2. Enough of these panty games politicians. Its time to get in the ring and fight. Do the Filibuster! Don't just threaten it. Do the Reconciliation the right way. LET CSPAN WATCH. NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE DECIDE IT IS!!! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! What the frak happened to the Congress I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest moment of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Banks, they are toast! Monster Corporations, dead! Healthcare... Bluto: We're just the guys to do it. Let's do it! http://www.youtube.c...h?v=Q47bpOCTcaY
  3. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    Our nation's goal should be to receive no more than one third of its support from taxpayers. The remainder can be divided from park entrance fees, selling marijuana, and government sanctioned beer factories.
  4. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    We need to get the man card club going. Its time for our public servants to man up or get their cards revoked.
  5. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    All Congressmen and women must watch one hour of Delta House public television per day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ8OuIkk77g The "Man Show" must be reinstated. Budwieser must be owned by an American company.
  6. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    I am am waiting for Rachel Meadows and Sean Hannity to kiss. That would make good television. I digress. All pundits that say they are reporters should be considered enemy combatants. Water boarding is not recommended. The use of Beer bongs are sanctioned.
  7. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    The President will give his evaluation this Thursday. Tune in and watch.
  8. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    Its time for you to stop the shenanigans and get in a scrum. We need two teams. One Red. One Blue. This is a last man standing cage match. All the Lobbyist can meet me at the bar Thursday night where neckties get chopped off.
  9. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    Listen to the wisdom of Minnie the Moocher http://www.youtube.c...h?v=6NTozy51AY0
  10. Bluto

    America Reborn - We Say So

    Delta House Inspirational Television. We are in Hell Right Now Gentleman. We can Climb out of Hell One INCH at a time.
  11. Bluto


    The Hail Satan Network has the answers you are looking for. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCiTlMrMAhU
  12. Bluto

    Vatican Says Aliens Could Exist

    Can you listen to anyone unclothed? I will send you case of liquid American courage if you try. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGn_E3nywr0
  13. Food Fight!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. I am a little dizzy right now.

  15. Can you bake me a dozen and send them over to my home. Just leave them at my doorstep.
  16. How many zeros in a trillion? The next time you hear a politician use the word 'trillion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A trillion is a difficult number to comprehend, but after some serious drinking on this I had an epiphany while watching Land of the Lost. 10 trillion seconds ago it was 314,870 BC. Neanderthals were living in Europe. I am sure they could open beer bottles with their teeth. But, could they imagine owing 96 million woolly mammoth carcasses? This may be the reason for the extinction of the megafauna. And possibly the Neanderthals. The politicians may have indirectly killed Chaka. Note. I used today's current value for beef stock.
  17. So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered.
  18. This is my current opinion.
  19. I have not heard about any flu cases in the District, but there are plenty of swine congregated about the Capitol building.
  20. The population wants to have a giant party and get drunk. We open up the Capitol and charge admission. We will get Congress real saucy mixing tequila with kamekaze and Rossi. Bouncing beer maidens can serve fudge brownies covered in ganja butter. We can write historic bills with crayons all while our eyes flutter and our heads twirl. And everything will be ok. I love this country.
  21. Just don't take away the boys that flip my burgers and pour my drinks.
  22. Bluto

    AIG is an acronym

    The truth is my 'Ho' Chris mouthed off to CNN without first conversing with his pimp. I told him to keep working the clubs and parties. It is hard to get good workers these days. Straight Up!
  23. Bluto

    The Theory of Intelligence

    I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this. 'Well you see Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'