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An Interview with Bibi Netanyahu (Satire)

Guest Adnan Darwash

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Guest Adnan Darwash

An interview with Bibi Netanyahu (Satire)

IOT: Mr Netanyahu, why did you accept the invitation of Iraq Occupation Times (IOT)?

Bibi: I wanted to clear up the Arab and Muslim misconception about Israel. Israel is not a rogue NAZI state led by terrorists, criminals and assassins.

IOT: You led an Israeli commando unit in 1978 and blown up 10 civilian aircrafts at Beirut airport. This is terror and all Israelis who carried out the attacks were terrorists.

Bibi: All Israeli actions are, were and will be carried out in self defence.

IOT: Ariel Sharon was found by an Israeli investigation committee to be a party to the Sabra and Shatilla massacres in 1982, and went to become Israeli Prime Minister.

Bibi: It was a Christian Falange unit that carried out the rapes and killings.

IOT: Yehud Barak had personally assassinated three Palestinian leaders in Beirut and went to become Israeli Prime Minister.

Bibi: Mr Barak, like Mr Sharon is a national hero.

IOT: You mentioned that you will work to free Jonathan Pollard. Why do the Israelis spy on a friendly country like the US?

Bibi: America spies on Israel too.

IOT: What has Israel done with the Navy communication codes passed by Mr Pollard?

Bibi: That is a state secret.

IOT: Is it true that PM Itzhaq Shamir had passed the information to the Soviet Union?

Bibi: That is a state secret.

IOT: How many Nuclear Warheads does Israel have?

Bibi: That is a state secret.

IOT: If you don’t deny having Nukes so why you want Iran not to develop nuclear weapons as a deterrent?

Bibi: We are a democracy and Iran is not.

IOT: Israel is a rogue state because it is in breach of 39 UN Security Council Resolutions. Why doesn’t Israel abide by International Laws and human right conventions?

Bibi: We recognise all laws as long as they don’t negatively affect Israeli interests.

IOT: Tomorrow is Christmas. Do you recognise Jesus and Christianity?

Bibi: Our Moses was 1000 years before Jesus. The Christians believe that our Talmud is their old testament.

IOT: Do you think that people are wrong in calling for boycotting Israeli goods?

Bibi: What do you think?

IOT: If you accept buying leather gloves from Auschwitz, then I will buy Israeli-made goods. Shalom.

Adnan Darwash, Iraq Occupation Times

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